I DON'T HAVE THE TRAINING FOR THIS!

Maya: "Do you like my new outfit?"

Outfit?

OUTFIT?!

Ma'am.

If Batman got divorced and moved to Berlin, this is what he'd call an outfit.

I look at her.

Leather.

Straps.

Mask.

The confidence of a woman who clearly knows something I don't.

And immediately my brain goes:

"Oh, we're hallucinating today."

Because there's no way this is real.

I have kids.

I pay property taxes.

I own Tupperware.

People who own Tupperware don't accidentally end up in situations like this.

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KIDS