Rock bottom

I'm not used to writing things like this...

Usually, I'm the guy who finds the joke in every situation. The one who can laugh even when life punches him in the face. But lately, it's been hard to laugh...

I'm working harder than ever, yet it feels like we're just trying to keep our heads above water. Every morning starts with hope, and every evening ends with another question mark.

The hardest part isn't the fear. It's the shame. The shame of feeling like I'm not able to give my family the security they deserve. The shame of smiling in front of the kids and acting like everything is okay, while inside I'm falling apart. 

So we hide it.

We whisper at night. We smile during the day. And we hope they don't notice.

Sometimes I think Rock Bottom isn't a number in your bank account...

It's the moment when your heart gets tired of carrying the weight.

And honestly... lately, my heart has been very tired.